am i a lucky one?

Today I feel really excited.
Actually more scared too, thinking about how the announcement of the test results tomorrow.
Honestly, I wasn’t so hoping to pass because I still have a dream to be able to work in private companies
or if it will become civil servants, I wanna be in central departments.
Because the prestige? Yes. But not entirely because of the pride as well.
For some reason I feel so jealous with my friends when I saw their facebook or twitter which the contents of their work.
Indeed that’s not always positive, many are also complaining. About their fatigue, and they almost have no spare time.
But why did it all sounds fun for me?

I really want to work in Jakarta, or Bandung.
I just hope for that since I was in college.
I want to get a career out of Sumatra, just like when i was a college student.
And it’s not because of prestige or whatever too.
I feel I could be more advanced there.
In any case, it must be admitted there is more advanced than my town.

And the main reason is a hope to developed myself more and more. I can imagine how being a civil servant.
It would be more “nyantai” and maybe for my physical which lately often drop, this job was suited for me.
But why sometimes my feelings can’t accept that I will only be a civil servants in this town,
with brown uniforms, and lead that simple life.

However, I also still hope to pass tomorrow.
It just a gift to my parents, especially for my mama.
She was really hoping I could pass the test.
She always prayed and asked to God for me.
Oh God, I really touched to hear that. I want to see her happy face.
And if my that result will be a happy surprise thing for her, then I beg Allah to accept my prayer,
for me to became a pns as mama’s dream.

What will happen tomorrow, I'm sure that is the best way of God for me.
 If I got it, alhamdulillah ya Allah I’ll much happy.
That means I won’t be unemployment-girl much longer.
As u know, being a jobseeker is very unpleasant.:'(

But even if I didn’t got that job, I also have to remain grateful.
At least, I've tried and do my best.
God had been managed all my way.
It’s just not my luck, and I have to start thinking about the line that will I take next.
I have to pursue another opportunity.
There must be some other way better which that God had put me up.
:)